Confession #20

Confession #20:
Relationship Goals:
“Be sure to have your own life (things that bring you joy, goals, and accomplishments) before you depend on someone else to bring you happiness.” The only person I can ABSOLUTELY COUNT ON to make me happy is myself. (A relationship with Christ has a lot to do with it too) Don’t lose yourself in a shallow relationship.

Its Our Hair Growth Quarter! Join our 90-Day Challenge

We are excited to have you apart of Created Coily Inc.! Starting March 1st you can join in on our Bigger than Hair Challenge for the next 90 days. We will be focusing our hair journey on the totality of mind, body, and spirit. Starting March 1st, you will need a small Journal and the self-will to grow in becoming a better you.


Challenge Details- Starting March 1st

The Bigger than Hair Challenge– the purpose of this challenge is to show yourself how intricately beautiful you are as a woman. You will realize by the end of the challenge how complex and beautiful  not only your hair is but you are. The many complexities of your hair that will just be a reflection of your inner and our world.

We challenge you to the following for the next 90 Days

1)Mind– (Focus on learning more knowledge about hair and resources offered in the COILY CRATE)- Try New Styles and Techniques- If you didnt order the Crate, you can use your normal hair items and resources.

2)Body– (Health Hair Challenge)

a) Drink Four Quarts (32 ounces= 1 quart) of Water per day between designated Time frame

  Quart 1– 6am to 10 am

Quart 2– 10am to 2:00pm

Quart 3– 2:00 pm to 6:00pm

Quart 4– 6:00pm to 10:00 pm

(Be sure to implement Hair Driven Berry Smoothie for Breakfast. You are able to eat regularly)

b) Make time for a light 30 min Cardio Workout. (Keep it Easy, Light Jog, Walking, Jump and Jacks)

c) Implement Simple Hair Regime included in Hair Growth Crate

3)Spirit– (Use Small Gratitude Journal to write down 3 items you are grateful for and 3 items you love about your hair/ yourself.) Over this challenge you will begin to see your Hair Story Unfold. Hair is very personal and intimate. Our hopes are that you take away from this challenge are hair growth and hair value. Your strands share a story about who you are, where you come from, your total health as woman, and your inner beauty / brilliance.  We will then move forward to start a movement and culture for our daughters, moms, and sisters to follow.

Mediation to Include in Prayer during 90 Day Challenge:

Luke 12:7 Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t Be Afraid; You are more valuable to God than a flock of Sparrows. (NLT)


Our team will be also participating in challenge. Feel free to check in with us via Social Media networks IG @createdcoilyinc or with hashtags. If you ever have a question, please call our stylists in the salon!

Thanks for your Support,

The Coily Team

Photo Credit: Rare Essence Natural Hair Academy

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

“We cannot achieve more in life than what we believe in our heart of hearts we deserve to have.”

-James R. Ball

        Making the decision to stay and fight or walk away is probably one of the hardest decisions mankind will ever have to make in life. It’s never easy to leave something you love but it is also overwhelmingly exhausting to work for something much bigger than yourself by yourself. Typically, I write from a relationship standpoint but making this type of decision is not limited to relationships. The same process in making the decision to walk or stay can be applied to careers, friendships, and other major life decisions.

Unfortunately, I can’t make this decision for you nor can I make the burden to decide easier.  I can say though, that everything you do in life should have purpose and ultimately make you better at the end of the day. Your relationship included. To battle the thought “should I stay or should I go”, you have to be objective. Treat or deal with the facts without distortion by personal feelings or prejudices. So here we go.

  • What have you been given in your relationship? What are you getting from your investment? What do you want or expect in return? Is your job or spouse willing to give you that in return?


  • Identify their purpose or role in your life. Are they serving their purpose? If not, is there evidence they are progressing toward fulfilling their purpose? Do you find yourself seeking other outlets to fulfill your needs (not wants)?


  • What is your role in their life? “If they don’t know your purpose in their life, they won’t know your value.” (Dr. Kevin A. Williams)


  • Are they and the relationship worth the work? NOT IS THE POTENTIAL OR POSSIBILITY WORTH IT? Is what you have and what they’ve shown you worth working on? There’s a saying, you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink. You can do everything you can to make it work, but if they see nothing wrong with their actions or if your happiness never becomes a priority above their own desires, then you are wasting your time.

Disclaimer: there is nothing wrong if you choose to stay. Some people have a little more fight than others and that’s okay. Let no one force you to make a right now decision unless you’re really ready. It’s totally up to you. You have to assess your relationship and do what’s best for you at the end of the day. Ultimately, what do you have to do to secure your long term happiness? Fight for what you ultimately want, even if that means letting go of one thing to grasp something greater.

The Waiting Insecurity….

It’s easy to get frustrated when you don’t know how to wait or better yet, when you don’t know for sure if your waiting is in vain. I decided I wanted to wait until marriage in terms of sex and I didn’t take in consideration how uncomfortable and frustrating that could be for guy who’s not a virgin. It wasn’t until I realized I would have to wait for him to consider if that was an adjustment he could make that I gained a totally new perspective of what waiting really takes.

Now, I also realized I don’t how to wait for him. Like, I want to wait for him to pick up the phone and call to see how my day was. I want to wait for him to ask me out. I want to wait for him to see the value of his investment in me. I want to wait for him to be the man and step up and make the commitment. I truly do want to have patience in setting the foundation for a wonderful relationship with him but I might not know how.

We, and I say we as in women, have developed this thing called a “Waiting Insecurity”. Before you get defensive, it’s okay to have insecurities as long as they don’t paralyze you from becoming great. Anyways, in the past we may have waited for the wrong man and ended up with heartbreak. I won’t bore you with psychology but hopefully you’ve heard of Pavlov’s classical conditioning. Some women (myself included) have wasted so much time in the past with a man that didn’t deserve the time of day and have been conditioned to associate waiting with disappointment, pain, and fear. This wasn’t intentional of course it just happened. We wait and we wait and no matter how we wait, we get hurt. So moving forward, when you do meet a man potentially worth waiting for, you get discouraged when they don’t necessarily call or text first thing in the morning or before laying down at night. You get nervous when they don’t ask you out right away. You start to question if the past is repeating itself and because you don’t want to waste another 5 years of your life, within the first month or two, if it’s not happening as quick as you would like, you demolish it because you’re afraid.

Now, I’m not saying he shouldn’t put in the work to kill your insecurities, but love, ultimately that’s not his job. If Superman never comes along to save you, you have to step up from Lois Lane and become Wonder Woman. While you’re waiting, be productive and overcome your insecurities so when the relationship does finally happen, the blueprint has already been created and you can begin building the foundation.

I know for me personally, waiting has become so uncomfortable. In the past, it wasn’t worth it and I had unconsciously learned no good comes from waiting on a man. I gained the mentality “time waits for no man so why should I?” But Lamentations 3:25 says “God proves to be good to the man who passionately waits, to the woman who diligently seeks” (man and woman being one in the MSG version). We and I say we but more so I, have to get over the insecurity that he might not be worth the wait. Realistically, he could have his doubts as well. It’s all in what you want. When you want something real, you’re willing to adjust and do what’s necessary to get it. So baby girl, just sit back and wait. Time reveals all. If you’re being productive while you wait for this man to become your man (and even if he doesn’t), you won’t feel like your waiting was in vain because you’ve accomplished something at the end of the day. If he’s interested, he’ll show you… I just have to give him a chance.